Why I'm NOT the Coupon Queen

The Process

Weekly

My neighbor gives me his inserts from the Sunday paper so I can clip coupons. I go through them hunting for the products I use while trying to avoid noticing awesome coupons for expensive products that I won't be able to afford without the coupon. They're so sneaky!

Shopping Day

Coupons: ChoysterI go through my coupon holder pulling out coupons that

• have expired
• are on my list
• will be added to my list
  

I write a note on my list "Don't forget coupons" and put them in my purse.

Moments Before Getting in Line

Sometimes I choose not to buy things when the store brand is still cheaper than the couponed product so I need to sort my coupons again. I pull out the ones that I really need putting those in my pocket and shove the rest back in my purse.

Checkout

Put my stuff on the conveyor belt, keep kids hands out of candy, pay, leave quickly because I've already wasted an hour of my day in WalHell

Strapping Baby Into Car Seat

%#&* I forgot my coupons!

Today's lost total due to forgotten coupons $4.40. Time I lost to the process approximately 40 minutes. I could spend 40 minutes "working" on Amazon Mechanical Turk and make more than $4.40. No More Coupons!!!!