Hormones are Fun and Just a Little Bit Scary!

Twice this week big chain grocery store employees have made me want to rip their faces off. Hmmm, there’s probably actually more effort and gore involved in that than I want to deal with. I wouldn’t mind stomping on their foot really really hard though.

WalmartWednesday was minor but annoying. I was at, drum roll please, Wal-Hell, when The Incident occurred. I purchased just a few items and one was too big for a bag. It was a big ass child safety gate. Not exactly something I could hide.

The door greeter made eye contact with me as I was stepping away from one of the speedy checkouts by the door. She came toward me and demanded to see my receipt for the gate, to which I demurely replied, “I don’t know what the hell I did with that,” as I unzipped my purse and snatched said receipt out for her yellow mark of approval.

Jensen at GateI did mention that she made eye contact with me AS I was walking away from the register, right? I’ve previously expressed my desire to have the nose twitching skills of Samantha Stevens from Bewitched but every morning I wake up with a nonfunctioning twitcher. Therefore, I did not walk away from the register and cause the $9 safety gate to appear in my shopping cart so WHAT THE HELL?

Like I said, minor but annoying. Moving on.

Incident #2 was kicked off by a huge mental drama I was having on Tuesday. My breast milk production was down. I pumped and pumped until my nipples nearly fell off but it became clear that I was not going to be able to feed my baby through the night so I had no choice but to go buy some formula.

After scanning my items at the U-Scan (Kroger this time) I opened my wallet in search of my debit card and discovered that my checkbook, debit card, id holder thingy WAS NOT THERE! Jensen had my wallet open before we left the house but I did not think he had time to remove anything so I stuffed it back in my purse and away we went. Clearly not the decision I will make going forward.

I did some more digging in my purse and miraculously found a loose checkbook from our secondary bank account. Hey, I’ll write a check. And so I did. And they wanted ID! My purchases were $12.48 and they wanted ID! The cashier was useless so I told him just to void it and I stomped off intending to leave but it occurred to me that a manager might be able to help. I mean seriously, it’s $12.48.

ToadI explained, in a pissedoffhormonalsleepdeprivedlunaticmom’s voice, the situation to the manager. Well, you already know what he did. I wouldn’t be bitching in my blog if he had helped me. He stammered some bullshit about not having the power to override the request for ID. Dude, if you can’t override a verify ID on a dinky little check then you ain’t a manager. You’re just an impotent toad walking around in a tie. Get a real job or learn to lie better. I don’t know which. I don’t care which. I want to smash your face in and you’re lucky I’ve retained some modicum of self-control in my postpartum rage. AAAARRRRRRGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Ok, so I’m over that now.

Follow-up For the curious, the momma dairy is back to full production after just a 2 day vacation. Apparently I have to remember to feed and water myself in order to take care of the little one! LOL. When? When? I guess now! LOL.

Another Follow-up I actually received a personal phone call from a Kroger representative at their headquarters in Cincinnati apologizing for their unusual check writing policy. The caller said the policy needs changed and she's going to forward my complaint (to add to no doubt a pile of complaints) to encourage a change. Whatever. I was just impressed that I received a personal phone call instead of a meaningless form email.